I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
