Do you still have your period?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
