She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
