Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
