Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
this hospital has no fireball
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
