Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
