Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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