Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
