Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sext me about skeletons
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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