hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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