Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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