A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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