is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
