but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
