My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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