Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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