I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
