do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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