Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
