I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
