Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
