Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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