Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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