what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
