SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
