Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
