some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
