And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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