I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
