Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
