i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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