Screwed.edu
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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