I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
