Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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