are you so shy because you have an std?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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