I faked an abortion last night.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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