Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
