I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
