the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
