In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This house was built for laser tag.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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