Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
