every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
