That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
