I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Come on in and take your pants off
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