You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
