No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
