that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
