try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
