I love black thongs
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
