with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
