He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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